Perhaps cliche, perhaps meaning more from someone with social anxiety:
Please, at least once, attend a Pride festival. Find one that’s in a mid-size town (mine was Aurora, Illinois, for example!) and bring a friend or acquaintance if you’re nervous. You don’t have to use your legal name to go, you don’t have to be IN the parade, you don’t have to understand or know all the trivia first, you don’t have to drink alcohol or have sex, you don’t even have to know your labels or if you’re queer at all. Go observe, play some street fair games, buy from a local artisan, wear bright colors or rainbows or things that look like your flag if you know what it is.
For example, as an asexual girl, I wore black shorts and sandals, a purple and black shirt with a vague feminist Girls Rule the World (ironically from Victoria’s Secret haha), and a white undershirt. You CAN be as bold and bright as you want, but you can also be subtle too. Go at your own pace and comfort level. If you’re up for sloppy buzzed at drag brunch on mimosas and PDA with your visibly queer partner, go for it! If you’re just stopping by anonymously on your way to the store because you “love local culture” and “celebrate community in your city,” hear me when I say that is okay!
The scariest part is the conservative protestors. Stay away from them your first time. Don’t get into Bible battles or argue theology. Ignore, walk around, cross the street, pick a spot far from them where the music drowns out their hate, strike up conversations with people standing around unoccupied near you, especially if they have kids or are new to this too or look like they know what they are doing and are just chilling. This may require some small talk, so if that’s emotionally draining for you, don’t stress about it. Just know if you need to to feel safe or if you have a question, everyone NOT shouting is pretty friendly.
If a parade is too much, look at the schedule and just attend the markets and shows so you can leave at any time. Mind the temperature and dress accordingly (including sunscreen and WATER water water). But don’t be afraid to go. It’s just rainbow Fourth of July (or insert local parade holiday here) in small and mid-size cities.
Even better is asking your affirming organization/hobby group/small business/sports team/school committee/club/church to host a booth (get connected to the festival organizers and then pass along what they say to your own leaders to have a finance/planning/outreach/service committee meeting about it NOW and don’t wait until the week before in May or June). You can use the booth to hand out water, stickers, magnets, flyers with your clear affirming stance and info to get connected, etc. Or you can join the Human Rights Campaign, Free Mom/Dad Hugs, PFLAG, or another similar organization always looking for volunteers. Leave time to walk around and enjoy Pride yourself too.
But even if you are an introvert’s introvert, or a socially anxious neurodivergent of any energy personality type, at least once when geographically possible, go be with our people in all your rainbow glory. It may take more than once to feel comfortable there. That’s okay. Just go and be in the same physical space and feel less isolated and despairing as you marinate in the joy and community and connection. Even if you don’t make a new friend or join a new group or sing karaoke or have a party bone in your body. Bring home a sticker or ribbon or locally crafted item or something, just to remind yourself every day that you were there and it is real still, in every queer and allied heart around you.
Invisible Cake Society 