allyship, asexuality, faith, queer

The point of all this

I want to be absolutely clear: The end goal is no more nonaffirming churches. Not a “diversity of thought” that’s just rewriting purity codes. Not a “range of opinions” with a variety of ways to exclude and dehumanize and tolerate “separate but equal.” Not a bare minimum. Not an “I love you but.”

Whether these churches accept correct, just, God-honoring theology or simply fade into history as factories of shame and harm and fake-nice, the collective liberation vision does not include nonaffirming theologies. Affirming theology *is* correct theology. We have beat around the bush long enough.

The mainline squandered opportunity after opportunity to draw that line, and we’re seeing the fruit of that, but we’re also seeing the fruit of the risk, the courage, the willingness to say NO to fence-riding and big-tent and “inclusive of all, the marginalized and the powers behind marginalization.”

In Christ, gender is not a factor for whether a marriage is holy, for whether sex is sinful, for whether someone is qualified to lead, serve, parent, teach, adopt, or write, for when passion is lust or love is healthy. That doesn’t mean we abandon discernment, but that gender isn’t relevant to it.

We are uncompromising in that. Lesbian, gay, bi/pan/+, trans/nonbinary/genderqueer, intersex, asexual/aromantic/agender, and all other kinds of queerness are not just permitted but *required* for the full reflection of the image of God and the accurate representation of the Kingdom come on earth.

Churches that factor in gender to who is permitted to do what are not only harmful, even deadly, for a small subset of the population. That is too minimizing. They are lacking in faithfulness. They are missing out on our gifts and our presence, but they are also missing out on the real, true God.

Conviction isn’t the enemy. Just like how becoming affirming isn’t “throwing out sexual ethics” or “there are no rules” or “rewriting history/the Bible,” it also isn’t an accommodation we’re asking for, a way to boost your Good Person points, or a secondary issue. It’s accurate, correct, right.

Have the courage to say so. Have the willingness to exclude the intolerant beliefs and opinions while honoring the need to listen, learn, grow, influence, and teach. It’s not about excluding individuals; it’s about setting our doctrinal truth, our policies, our reason for being.

Conservatives will panic: “See, the crazy liberals want to erase us! They want to eradicate us! They discriminate against us! The intolerant left!” Yes. I do. I want to erase the possibility that any queer kid grows up thinking God hates, Jesus is ashamed, or the Spirit would take away their joy.

I want to eradicate queer death, suffering, rejection, and homelessness. I do discriminate against bigotry and hate and fear-peddling propaganda lies. I want the world to stop tolerating violence, inequality, and terror in the name of “religious freedom,” “thought diversity,” and “broad umbrellas.”

We refuse anything less as the destination. The future is one where every church is practicing and preaching the truth, the life, the freedom, and the blessing that is only reflected with full queer welcome, inclusion, affirmation, belonging, and leadership at every level.

faith, queer, resources

Queer Christian History

We have a long, complicated history as a queer Christian community. It’s crucial that we preserve, learn, and grow from that history with each generation that follows so we know who we are, that we are not a new trend, and that “tradition” is in the eye of the historian. We are proud to have a deep, rich history of faithful love and justice work, standing strong in our God-given identities. LGBTQIA+ Christians have always been here. Our stories were just erased. Make the invisible visible again in remembering them:

The LGBTQ+ Religious Archives Network

The LGBTQ Religious Archives Network (LGBTQ-RAN) is an innovative venture in preserving history and encouraging scholarly study of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) religious movements around the world. LGBTQ-RAN has a two-fold basic purpose.

Second, LGBTQ-RAN provides an electronic information clearinghouse for these archival collections and other historical data about LGBTQ religious history for the use of historians, researchers and other interested persons.

First, it assists LGBTQ religious leaders and groups in determining how best to preserve their records and papers in appropriate repositories.

Center for LGBTQ and Gender Studies in Religion

The Center for LGBTQ and Gender Studies in Religion (CLGS) was established at Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, California and opened its doors in the fall of 2000.

Whosoever Magazine

Since 1996, Whosoever has existed to publish resources, primarily in the form of curated content, for those who seek a deeper understanding of the truly loving God, whose unconditional love is experienced as boundless grace.

Queer Saints Project

The Queer Saints Project began as a collaboration between the artist, Jason Tseng, and Judson Memorial Church, a historic church located in New York City’s West Village neighborhood. In 2018, Judson commissioned Tseng to create icons of LGBTQIA+ ancestors, to celebrate their inherent divinity, honor their contributions, and reclaim them as queer saints. The goal is to raise awareness and funds for the LGBTQIA+ community using these transcendent images that glorify and celebrate the miracle that is queerness.

The LGBTQ History Project

QSpirit: LGBTQ Saints, Queer Saints

Kittredge Cherry provides profiles and a saints day calendar that ask “What if” in queering the Bible and Christian history, as well as recognizing modern-day and historical queer people of faith in ways the church has largely ignored. Dare to imagine, explore, question, and enjoy beyond the normative and cisheteropatriarchical-assumed stories we’ve been taught.

Making Gay History: Rev. Carolyn Mobley-Bowie

Growing up in the segregated South, Rev. Carolyn Mobley-Bowie knew the challenge of finding an accepting place in the world—a challenge that only grew when her attraction to women came into conflict with her devotion to God. The predominantly gay Metropolitan Community Church offered refuge.

OutHistory: Religion and Homosexuality in the United States, by John D’Emilio and His Students

An essay by historian John D’Emilio “On Teaching Religion and Homosexuality in the U.S.,” and six chronologies on religion and homosexuality in the United States. First published on OutHistory in 2014.

Associated Press: A brief and incomplete, but helpful, overview of mainline denominations’ shifts on LGBTQIA+ inclusion in ordination, leadership, and marriage.

This timeline highlights key milestones and flashpoints within the UMC, Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), Episcopal Church, Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, United Church of Christ, as well as in civic life.

By affirming denomination

Your experience may vary, but overall, these denominations have come to a broadly LGBTQIA+ affirming stance and hold socially progressive theology.

Metropolitan Community Church

When We All Get to Heaven

When We All Get to Heaven is a documentary project that tells the story of one of the first gay-positive churches, the Metropolitan Community Church of San Francisco, and how it faced the personal, social, and political trials of the AIDS epidemic, including the deaths of 500 of its members.

The Classical Ideas Podcast: EP 197: We Who Must Die Demand a Miracle and MCC San Francisco w/Dr. Lynne Gerber

Dr. Lynne Gerber (she/her/hers) is an independent scholar. She is the author of Seeking the Straight and Narrow: Weight Loss and Sexual-Reorientation in Evangelical America (Chicago, 2011). She is currently working on a history of religion and HIV/AIDS in San Francisco.

Queercore podcast: The Radical Priest: Rev Troy Perry (Season 4; Ep 8)

He’s preaching revolution! In this episode, Reverend Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Church, joins us to chart his unlikely journey from Southern Baptist roots to gay‐affirming ministry and queer liberation. He recalls founding MCC in his living room in 1968, officiating groundbreaking same-sex marriages, and fighting for dignity when society told him faith and queerness could never co-exist.

There were fires—literal and metaphorical—that threatened his church, courtroom battles, and protests in the street. Through it all, he held onto something radical: that God loves us all, fully and without apology. Tune in to witness faith as resistance and prophecy as sanctuary.

United Methodist LGBTQIA+ History

Affirmation was founded in 1972 and went on to establish Reconciling Ministries. Affirmation was the first group to include Transgender people and was the first to provide direct support to LGBTQ+ people in Uganda and Kenya.

As the Church embraces a more inclusive and hopeful future, the Center exists to intentionally collect, preserve, and share the stories of Queer individuals whose voices, ministries, and faith have long been marginalized. Through this work, the LGBTQ+ UMC Heritage Board is tasked with ensuring LGBTQ+ people and their legacy in the Church can move forward unapologetically to be seen, celebrated, and empowered in the fullness of who they are.

Dedicated page for profiles of notable clergy and lay people, oral histories, online exhibits, and digital archive collections from the UMC.

Episcopal LGBTQIA+ History

  • TransEpiscopal – TransEpiscopal is a group of transgender, nonbinary, and allied Episcopalians dedicated to fostering the full embrace of trans and nonbinary people, and our loved ones within the Episcopal Church and to inspiring faith-based advocacy for trans and nonbinary justice in the wider world.
  • LGBTQIA+ Episcopal History – Faithful Episcopalians have been working toward a greater understanding and radical inclusion of all of God’s children for nearly a half-century.

United Church of Christ LGBTQIA+ History

  • Open and Affirming Coalition – Beginning in 1969, the United Church of Christ has advocated for the LGBT community. From the campaign to decriminalize same-sex relationships to support for marriage equality, the UCC has made a difference in the lives of LGBT citizens and their families. The issues have changed over the decades, but the basic commitment to full inclusion and human rights remains the same.

Presbyterian Church USA LGBTQIA+ History

  • Timeline of LGBTQIA+ History – The Presbyterian Historical Society has created a timeline of LGBTQIA+ related history in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). The stories included show how church members’ perspectives as well as the language used to speak about sexuality shifted throughout decades of advocacy work by LGBTQIA+ Presbyterians and allies.

ELCA (Lutheran) LGBTQIA+ History

Brethren and Mennonite Council LGBTQIA+ History

  • Oral history project at the Center for Queer Studies – Amy Short, in her work on the BMC Elder History Project, has been busy collecting stories, primarily from older BMC individuals, but also from some younger ones as well. Currently she has over 40 hours of taped interviews that will be preserved for their archives, with some utilized for trainings or simply shared as a celebration of their strength and variety as a community.
  • “Repent of the Sins of Homophobia”: The Rise of Queer Mennonite Leaders by Rachel Waltner Goossen

United Church of Canada

Quakers in Britain

Other notable groups in LGBTQIA+ Christian History:


Many more to come! If you have more queer Christian history/archival sites to suggest, please submit them via DMs on Bsky, Threads, Instagram, Substack, Discord, or Facebook (all under @ jennadewitt), or send me an email at jennadewitt (at) gmail (dot) com.

disability, essays, Mental health, neurodivergence

Contained

Blooming between enoughness, too-muchness, limitations, and stewardship.

“Maybe our constraints are an altar.
Maybe our limits are sacred. Maybe we fulfill our purpose even if the container is smaller than you expected.”

Maybe we aren’t disqualified because we can’t do everything for everyone.
Maybe our capacity, however limited for a season, is an invitation.”

– Sarah Bessey, “In which I get honest about contentment, capacity, and a few other things”


a small potted plant sitting on top of a table
Photo by Amelia Cui on Unsplash

This Enneagram 3 has been wrestling with “But is it enough to the world? Should I be doing more? Am I doing enough?” for many years.

Sarah Bessey asked these questions in a Substack post last week, and I wrote much of the following as an essay-length comment in response. At her encouragement, I am not being self-deprecating about my hyperverbal tendencies and am instead turning it into an actual essay here. 😊

Enoughness and too-muchness haunt me as I bounce between ADHD and anxiety, between disabilities and giftedness, between work-for-your-worthiness hustle culture and the fine line of comfort that tips necessary recovery-mode rest into self-indulgence and privilege. Am I achieving enough to have earned my belonging, my right to be treated with respect, my credibility when I speak on my own story, my rest? And then there are the less me-focused questions: Am I doing enough to steward my gifts for the needs of the world? Am I loving my neighbor or just talking about it online? Am I missing opportunities when I could have made a difference but didn’t see the need right in front of me, which I am uniquely gifted and called to fill?

For one example, there is work to be done around building the field of asexual theology as a subset of queer theology, and I know I could and maybe even “should” do it, but here at this point in time, I spend so much time managing my disorders and disabilities and general adulting that even reading and remembering a book feels like a daunting task, much less trying to be one of few pioneers in a niche and controversial subgenre of a subgenre. Maybe that will change! My containers and limits today might only be for a season. I can’t know.

And still the ambition is there: Maybe I will feel like I am making a difference if I just wrote a book or got a significant speaking gig or finally went to seminary, just as the leaders and mentors in my life have suspected I someday will. The Enneagram 3 in me knows I could be Someone Special, if I just tried harder, had the right master’s degree from the right school, started a podcast, networked with all the right people, had an impressive title, never said “no” ever, flew to all the conferences and namedropped and threw my resume and story around like currency. If tried to be everything shiny and powerful and impressive to everyone all of the time, maybe enoughness would find me.

Alas for the darn bounds of time and space that I have to live linearly, constrained to physics, for lack of a TARDIS.

But being Someone Special is not a magic solution for the enoughness. This is part of my twice-exceptional ADHD, anxiety, perfectionist, compulsive overachiever recovery plan: to live contained to what I can do and not what I should do. I know it sounds simple, like the first-day-of-therapy kind of basic. But I realized in 2024 that I wasn’t getting to bed late because of Revenge Bedtime Procrastination, in which one stays up late to extend their fun free time. I simply had too many things on my plate for a normal human to get done in a day, and I am not a “normal” human. I am an invisibly disabled one, just in small ways that add up, and not always obviously, even to myself. My brain and body are different than other people’s, in need of different and sometimes more time-consuming care or problem-solving. (In 2023, my Word of the Year was “Complicated, as in letting myself be.” And that was a huge theme. Very accurate for that year. Goodness.)

I know all the hustle culture currency, which we have been taught will buy love or respect, is just another lie of capitalism. So, as Kendra Adachi says, naming what matters to ME (and not to everyone’s expectations to live up to) is vital for survival.


Back to the good I could do in the world, which genuinely does need what I am uniquely gifted to share: My skills as an editor and former journalist can teach my friends and followers media literacy; my specific theology and knowledge as a queer asexual Methodist provides a rare perspective on de/reconstruction and advocacy training; my White middle-class privilege to boost a cause or raise awareness or speak until my voice is hoarse allows others to get what they need. But at what point do my gifts/abilities/skills and the world’s needs surpass my capacity, regardless of my fit-ness for the task and call to stewardship of all I’ve been given?

My local leaders of United Women in Faith, the UMC women’s organization, said their theme this year, is “No one can do everything, but we can all do something. Let’s see what we can do together.” It is essentially the same “my drop in the bucket” concept I’ve held like a lifeline: I can’t fill the whole bucket of the solution, but I can be one droplet that makes the bucket overflow with compassion and care for all.

So I know I can’t do everything, but am I doing enough, what’s expected of me, what I should be doing, what the world needs from me, what is my duty and responsibility to step up and do? One body, many parts, means I can’t be the whole body by myself, but as a body part, am I contributing my function to justify the gifts I’ve been given and meet the needs of those who need me to give them?

I tried so hard in 2024. I did what I could. And in some ways, it was never going to be enough, and learning that the hard way allowed me to discern “the difference” of the infamous prayer, between what is mine to change and what is mine to accept I cannot change. People like to edit this to “no longer accepting what I cannot change, but changing what I cannot accept” as if it makes any sense. With apologies to Angela Davis, often cited as the source of this quote, it doesn’t add up. The lesson of the container is learned in cracking it to pieces and the necessary repair work that follows. I cannot save the whole world and convert them to be Justice Warriors with my leftover Evangelical Hero Complex (vintage Sarah Bessey blog post throwback!). I can’t change the election outcome or my body’s neediness or hateful people who don’t want to do better and refuse to learn anything. But I can accept what is out of my control and still commit to live my values regardless of the circumstances. For another metaphor, if a brick wall is blocking my path, the only way forward is to start by accepting that the wall is immovable, but I am not. I can’t change the wall, but I can change direction in response to it. This is “the wisdom to know the difference.”

As Sarah wrote about, we must make peace with being contained, constrained, being CONtent/conTENT of a boundaried physics-abiding linear timestream with over a third of my 24 hours a day being paid work and another third being necessary sleep. We must trust it’s enough, we’re doing enough, we’re enough, or that we’ve equipped others enough that they can pick up the baton and start running for themselves. And maybe we build that community we want, not through earning admirers from hustling, impressing, or fulfilling obligations and duties with our own skills, but in encouraging, equipping, opening doors, and giving away our seat at the table to those who need to be heard and seen. And then, when we are refreshed and discerning wisely, we can jump back in with what IS ours to do.

Sarah also wrote of others demanding moremoremore, which can turn from an honor into a storm of expectations and duty and stewardship and performance and responsibility so fast. As Taylor Swift sings, “the crowd was chanting MORE” as she was falling apart and pretending to be on top of the world (“I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”). It is often a mistimed, misplaced, or misworded expression of gratitude.

I say this to all of you from hard-won experience: you are already enough. And you have the wisdom to determine your own course of action and capacity to give. Comparison and competition will not measure accurately, ever. Your worthiness and enoughness lie unshaken within you by any outside force or others’ assessment. You’re wanted and not forgotten, you’re important and belong, you’re respected and trusted, you’re so very deeply loved and appreciated, you’re effective and outstanding in your work. And often that work does hit exactly where your neighbors and loved ones have their own needs. And I sit with you all in that grief of discernment, priorities and values alignments, and adding and subtracting to your schedule, knowing that some of the “moremoremore!” cheeping baby birds will have to learn to fly and seek their need-meeting elsewhere because you cannot be everything to everyone all of the time, even if you’d be better at it than others or have been given unique gifts to do it. Sometimes that opens the door for someone else to be the one who steps up to help, and sometimes that learn-to-fly moment will be the realization the baby birds need to lead themselves. The “moremoremore” might be a chance for the crowd to grow into “I can too” and blossom into a community of support so you aren’t the lone pioneer in your area of expertise and giftings, just one necessary and interdependent part of a larger body.

Being involuntarily boundaried by our limitations is a grief. Don’t skip over that part. We must learn to lament.

And also. Healthy containers and constraints can lead to more diverse ecosystems and stronger, lasting growth. They will also help us get quiet and still enough to hear the whisper of the Spirit or nudge in a direction to go and love in ways we are uniquely called to, equipped for, gifted in, and given to delight in.

If I must live bounded in a container of energy, time, space, and ability, then let me be a garden, flourishing and resting and bearing fruit and contributing to the growth of others, each in its season.

girl sitting using smartphone
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

essays, faith

Rise – Easter sermon 2024

I had the honor of preaching for the Rise community at our Easter service this year. Here is the text of that sermon!


Happy Easter, my friends. I’m going to make this participatory in a simple way. I’m going to say He is risen, and that’s your cue to say or type in the chat or just think to yourself, He is risen indeed. Let’s try it. 

He is risen! (He is risen indeed!) Good, good. Remember that, we’ll come back to it. 


Do you remember the poster of the kitten hanging on the branch? Or “Shoot for the moon, even if you fail, you’re land among the stars.” “It doesn’t matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop.” I was a kid in the 1990s, and schools were full of posters like this. One of them had a point, though. “What matters isn’t the number of times you fall, but the number of times you get back up.”

Teachers, parents, everyone loved these quotes, as evidenced by their Facebook posts to this day. But the achiever in me found it hard to believe them. If you fall, even if you finish the race, everyone’s going to see that you’re covered in dirt, right? If you go at your own pace, what happens when you get left behind? And do they know how far apart the stars and moon are?!

But then we grew up and all along the way, boy howdy did we fall. We learned to fail. We learned what it was to experience shame and rejection. We endured pain and suffering. We were disbelieved and discounted, our worth in the dust with our dreams. We lost people we thought we couldn’t live without and somehow we’re still taking in each breath, no matter how much it aches to keep going. We had the doors slammed in our faces and “moved through” stages of grief like a tennis ball in a dryer.

And then, like Job, maybe we have friends come along and lament with us for a while but the questions start like “What did you do to cause this?” and “Have you tried just ……….. [fill in the blank]?” The friends we thought we could count on get tired of our pain and our needs and we have to seek community who get us, who know what it’s like to feel trapped behind a stone in the dark. We start to wonder where we went wrong, or if God is that kind of deity who plays with people’s lives out of jealousy or testing or insecurity.

And we know we’re far from perfect, but hear this: you did not earn your suffering through either a need to prove your holiness or as punishment for some sin. That’s not Love. Sometimes the only answer we get is that we can’t know. Sometimes there is no why. Sometimes the world and our lives are terrifyingly out of our own control. And maybe the only way out is through. There are consequences for our actions, yes. But even then, we can rise again, each day fresh with no mistakes in it yet. We can start a new life, repairing and repenting for the harm we’ve done and building a better future.

That’s faith. It’s not memorizing a list of doctrines or achieving a resume of holiness or working our way up the ladder of church leadership into an inner circle. It’s trusting that it’s possible our hope is not in vain. It doesn’t require absolute certainty and perfect answers, but being willing to keep asking the questions. Even when everything is cold and quiet and dark in the night of the soul. Even when we are alone and can’t see the path out of the graves we are in. 

I hope at some point in these deaths and mourning, we have all seen the dawn. We’ve remembered that spring returns after the long winter. We’ve fought for each step out of the night to just survive long enough to see the daylight. We’ve brought life out of the desolate places where everyone said we were never going to see hope again.

We are Rise Women. We, this whole community, we know resurrection. Even for those of you who barely showed up today, unsure if this whole Jesus thing is for you, for those of you who don’t know what to believe anymore, who feel like their faith is unraveling thread by thread. We say this for you when you can’t believe it yourself. For those of you who are so ready to be given an open door, your faith is on fire and you just need the opportunities you know you are skilled to handle. For those of you who are here, yet again, another unremarkable Easter. For those who are ready to do more than just survive the day to day. Say it with me: He is risen. (He is risen indeed.)

Sarah Bessey writes: “In the scriptures, the word for resurrection is usually a Greek one, anastasis. Often used in reference to the resurrection of Jesus, it’s somehow a physical sort of noun to me. After all, it means a rising up, a raising up, a standing up. After a time in the dirt, after our falling, after taking a seat, lying down, even after our collapse, our seeming end — anastasis is our rising. Like Jesus, we are raised up to new life. We find life out of death, water in the desert, hope out of grief. I’ve begun to see a multitude of resurrections hiding in plain sight in my life, far from traditional understandings of revival and grandiose demonstrations.”

This is crucial. It’s not the altar calls and the mountain tops. It’s not always the memorable testimonies and the huge achievements that become stories passed on through generations. Sarah says, “The regular resurrections of our lives are just as miraculous as the big, showy, attention-getting ones.” Just as much. Resurrection isn’t a ticketed event, where we all gather round to watch Jesus perform the stone-rolling trick. This story is about a woman weeping because her friend and teacher has been stolen from his final resting place. This is about the slow realization that the horrific assumption is not as it seems. The resurrection story is between friends reuniting and assurances from angels and eyes opened in conversation, in a cemetery garden, in a home, on the road, at the dinner table. This is a story of everyday ordinary rising.

The bread of life, broken for you and for many. Take it. Observe the power of the leavening, and then see the holes in his side. Feel how the dough refuses to turn to dust when beaten, strung out, encased in darkness and heat, but instead becomes whole, complete, the life it was always meant to impart.

 Jesus knew his metaphors, huh? He knew this one, this one would make sense down the millennia. Bread is our friend. Even people who can’t eat things in your average gluteny loaf have invented other kinds. This is the stuff they left out of the He Gets Us ads. Bread. Timeless.

Another metaphor often used in Easter sermons is the flowers that require the dark and pressure of the ground to break open and sprout. The birds that must crack their shells and leave the nest in order to fly. The coal into diamonds and the oysters with their pearls. I’m sure you’ve heard them all, and maybe have some of your own that resonate with you.

But we already know what it feels like when this rising is softer, don’t we? Not a grand performance with a light show and a drum roll. As Barbara Brown Taylor writes in her book Learning to Walk in the Dark, “By all accounts, a stone blocked the entrance to the cave so that there were no witnesses to the resurrection. Everyone who saw the risen Jesus saw him after. Whatever happened in the cave happened in the dark. As many years as I have been listening to Easter sermons, I have never heard anyone talk about that part. Resurrection is always announced with Easter lilies, the sound of trumpets, bright streaming light. But it did not happen that way. If it happened in a cave, it happened in complete silence, in absolute darkness, with the smell of damp stone and dug earth in the air. Sitting deep in the heart of Organ Cave, I let this sink in: new life starts in the dark. Whether it is a seed in the ground, a baby in the womb, or Jesus in the tomb, it starts in the dark.”

So if today doesn’t feel triumphant and bright, if we are struggling to see in the unknowing and uncertainty that surrounds us, our anastasis might still be on the way. 

Maybe it’s already in motion, even if we haven’t seen the light yet. Maybe it won’t come without you digging your way out and demanding to be untied from your grave clothes when others tried to bury you. But listen, Rise Women, maybe your story isn’t over yet.

Maybe there is rising left to do. Resurrection still to come. Maybe you’re going to be walking through life on the road of grief, and the worst seems to have happened, but then. But then you see Jesus is right there with you. The Spirit is forging you into a risen loaf. The Creator who mixed all of your ingredients together: your anger, your humility, your joy, your passion, your strengths and weaknesses, your empathy and your impatience, all of it. The Creator is bringing new life on the other side of this tomb.

Hope doesn’t come with instant yeast, though, you know? So sad. Hope comes with day by day, inch by inch, clawing our way through in defiance. Hope can be defiant, with refusing to let the forces of hopelessness win. Hope comes with noticing the little things and gratitude practices and breathing in and out, hanging on for just one more day. Hope rises in community and in embodiment and in connection. Hope rises when we are in this together and no one is left behind in our resurrections.

We’re not giving up.

There’s a scene in my favorite movie, Captain Marvel, that you’ve probably seen. Some may roll their eyes at its sincerity and call it cringe for being too genuine, but I love this stuff. At the climax, the enemy is telepathically showing Captain Marvel all the times in her forgotten past when being a fragile human girl made her weak. She experienced sexism from boys and men, she experienced physical hardship training for the Air Force, she experienced pain and deep grief and failure. But instead of being defeated by this evidence, Captain Marvel remembers for the first time in years what happened next in each of those scenarios, from her childhood on to adulthood. She got back up. She climbed out of the crashed go-kart and stood up in the batter’s box and got up out of the dirt and stood ready to fight as a trained Air Force pilot. She looks into the camera and every girl and woman in that audience knows. This isn’t just about a superhero story. This is about us. She is each one of us who has fallen. This is our power reflected back at us, the power of resurrection as we rise against all that would hold us down.

The Bible has stories like this. Dry bones coming back to life. Servants and only sons and little girls and Lazurus, a beloved brother and best friend of Jesus himself. All die. All rising again in the power of the Spirit. So many metaphorical risings too. Healings and storms calmed and songs of conquering their oppressors. There are many ways resurrection shows up. But it’s not the grand display of power every time. It’s the otherwise unremarkable days. The long, long, weary nights. The simple and ordinary moments, often too fleeting, and yet, and yet we can draw on this hope. We can know we are not alone.

Jesus didn’t just rise against the biological reality of death. He rose after betrayal and loss, after immense pain and suffering, after being disbelieved and disavowed and discredited. The shame and the humiliation and the abandonment. The despair and the inevitability despite his deepest pleas that he wouldn’t have to go through with it in the end. The loneliness and anxiety and tears.

I don’t say that to trigger some sort of Passion of the Christ flashback or church trauma. No one is about to cue up stats about how much physical torture the human body can endure to guilt-trip you into behavior modification. It’s the opposite of that, actually.

I’m saying, we Rise Women know some of these feelings Jesus is walking through here, living a fully human experience. We know betrayal, grief, pain, suffering, shame, abandonment, fear, depression. We know the nights pleading with God over and over to take this cup from us. We know loneliness when our friends don’t show up for us or when they even collaborate with those working against us. We know tears. We get it.

So believe me when I say, through the power of the Holy Spirit that rose Jesus from this grave on this Easter Sunday morning, you are not alone. You are not done yet. You are not trapped behind this stone of despair and hopelessness forever. Now, hear me, your conditions might not change. Like Jesus, you may still have the wounds in your side and scars on your hands. You may not be fixed or healed or have a perfect solution waiting for you when we leave our time here today. But I will promise you that hope can be a resurrection for you in the midst of it.

How? Honestly, I don’t know. That’s between you and your resurrector. Those of us with ADHD often say we don’t really have a sense of time. There are only two times of day to an ADHD brain: now and not now. We have that in common with the theologians who describe God’s time that way. We live in the now and not now, the kingdom of God isn’t here yet with its peace and reconcilation and wholeness and everything made right, but it is also here now on earth as it is in heaven. And, what’s more, we’re the ones called and equipped to bring it about, as the emissaries of hope, the ones running back to our friends to proclaim the mystery of the faith: He is risen! (He is risen indeed!)

The now part of resurrection is realized every time the Spirit moves us to bring life and renewal to ourselves, our neighbors, our communities, Creation, and the world around us. We live in both the now and not now. I don’t pretend to know God’s plans or if or when God will show up and reveal that it’s been him all along walking beside you. Keep your eyes open, though, because that resurrection lives in you.

It’s what we do. We rise.

Leader: We are rising.

 ALL: We are rising indeed.