Tag: aromanticism

allyship, aromanticism, asexuality, disability, faith, Mental health, neurodivergence, queer, resources

Naming

jennadewitt

As you might assume from my content on this site, I carry a lot of labels. Some are less well-known than others, and some carry inaccurate connotations. Some I am constantly working for greater awareness of, and others I keep quieter about. These labels have been immensely helpful for me, whether they are as specific as a microlabel on the spectrum of aromantic and asexual identity or as broad as the unifying and nebulous umbrella terms that I’m not sure where all I fit within.

Naming is important to self-concept and acceptance of our identity, but there are equally important stages that we move through before and after we first say, “Hi, my name is ____ and I’m ____.” These aren’t strictly linear, but they are numbered for the sake of organization:

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aromanticism, asexuality, faith, queer, resources

Queer podcasts

jennadewitt

A few podcasts around queerness, queer faith, and aromanticism and asexuality. For my own podcast appearances, see Podcasts.

Queer – general

  • Queery
  • Making Gay History

Queer Christian

Search for these on your favorite podcast-listening platform!

aromanticism, Poetry, queer

I heal myself

jennadewitt

She needs him
Like she needs air
He needs her
Like water

But I breathe
I drink, I gasp
I drown
All on my own

She soothes her hands
through her hair
She kisses her
Soft and gentle

But I tighten my jaw
And say I’m fine
Because I will be
I am my own

He brings them soup
And pills and tea
They relax into him
He is there

But I will my way
To the shelf
I pour and heat
and brew alone

I choose myself
I chose alone
But I didn’t choose
To be made this way

I can’t pretend
I don’t wish
For you
To see
Me.

Written for Aroventures: AAA Literary Journal: Aromantic Awareness Week 2021.

asexuality, Poetry, queer

Dangerous

jennadewitt

Call me dangerous

Call me wayward

I’m not sorry

for my honesty

/

I am queerly a woman 

And I was born set to bold

A persistent problem

To your systems and theology

/

I will not be quiet 

Call me threat, call me fire

Let’s burn it down

Call me hurricane 

/

I am hurricane

I will blow fear away

Rain down justice

Waters holy

/

We fought too hard 

To play power games

There’s too much at stake

To stay silent in grey

/

So call me dangerous

Call me violent

Rainbow light

I split skies wider.

aromanticism, asexuality, queer, resources

Asexuality and aromanticism resources

jennadewitt

Asexuality is an orientation to describe not experiencing sexual attraction. Aromanticism is an orientation to describe not experiencing romantic attraction. Most people think of their attraction as both romantic and sexual, but these are not always aligned. Anyone can experience split attraction, so someone might be any combination of homoromantic, homosexual, biromantic, bisexual, queer, panromantic, pansexual, aromantic, asexual, or other orientations. These are also separate from gender identity.

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aromanticism, queer, resources

Aromanticism 101

jennadewitt

Alright it’s time to talk about… aromanticism! I haven’t spent as much time on this as I have on asexuality, so it’s time to answer some questions and bust some myths.

Similar to how asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, aromanticism is a lack of romantic attraction. I’m both aromantic and asexual, aro ace for short, but not every ace is aro and not every aro is ace. If you’re not aro and/or ace, you’re allo. So someone can be alloromantic asexual, aromantic allosexual, alloromantic allosexual, or, like me, aromantic asexual.

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asexuality, essays

Show Yourself

jennadewitt

There is a difference between being special and being rare. 

Specialness has a value added to it. Precious, treasure, unique in the way that grins from ear to ear after completing the perfect performance. Memorably good. Exceptional in a positive way.

Rare can be that, as Selena Gomez describes in her song of that name, but it also has a bit of desperation sometimes. Vulnerable, lonely, unique in the sense that there’s not a lot of awareness or community or representation out there. Perhaps unpopular. An exception in the way where you can’t expect others to relate.

We all want to be the first: to be someone special, even if it’s just to one other person. To be seen for our uniqueness and to be loved for it, not in spite of it. That what makes us different makes us shine. 

Instead, some of us are rare. We’re different in ways that make others uncomfortable. Expectations and plans others had for us go out the window, we spend a lot of time explaining ourselves or isolating so we don’t have to, and we might even be afraid of ourselves and our own uniqueness because it could hurt or disappoint others if they knew.

  

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