Asexuality is an orientation to describe not experiencing sexual attraction. Aromanticism is an orientation to describe not experiencing romantic attraction. Most people think of their attraction as both romantic and sexual, but these are not always aligned. Anyone can experience split attraction, so someone might be any combination of homoromantic, homosexual, biromantic, bisexual, queer, panromantic, pansexual, aromantic, asexual, or other orientations. These are also separate from gender identity.
Continue reading “Asexuality and aromanticism resources”Author: jennadewitt
Queer Christian resources
It’s not an easy spot to be in. The Christian community tells us to be straight. The LGBTQIA+ community tells us to leave behind religion. But we are living proof that there is a vibrant, welcoming, loving family where you can be both, fully Christian and no less queer. These sites below can connect you to church finders, resources, advocacy groups, small groups, books, social media accounts, newsletters, job listings, events, podcasts, and more.
Continue reading “Queer Christian resources”Faith that evolves
I mostly write about asexuality and being a queer Christian, but those aren’t the hardest challenges I’ve encountered in my faith. Being both queer and Christian has been difficult, but it has also shown me a community of love, belonging, joy, and all the fruits of the Spirit.
My hardest challenge to my faith was recovering from a relationship with God that was based on anxiety, performance, and achievement. As an Enneagram 3, I will always fight this, but it really came to a head after college.
Continue reading “Faith that evolves”Aromanticism 101
It’s time to talk about… aromanticism! I haven’t spent as much time on this as I have on asexuality, so it’s time to answer some questions and bust some myths.
Similar to how asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, aromanticism is a lack of romantic attraction. I’m both aromantic and asexual, aro ace for short, but not every ace is aro and not every aro is ace. If you’re not aro and/or ace, you’re allo. So someone can be alloromantic asexual, aromantic allosexual, alloromantic allosexual, or, like me, aromantic asexual.
Continue reading “Aromanticism 101”A-positive
I am not the type to get emotional
but it hurts when you say
all humans were created for sex
that romance is the purpose
for us being thrust upon this forsaken Earth
Continue reading “A-positive”Show yourself
There is a difference between being special and being rare.
Specialness has a value added to it. Precious, treasure, unique in the way that grins from ear to ear after completing the perfect performance. Memorably good. Exceptional in a positive way.
Rare can be that, as Selena Gomez describes in her song of that name, but it also has a bit of desperation sometimes. Vulnerable, lonely, unique in the sense that there’s not a lot of awareness or community or representation out there. Perhaps unpopular. An exception in the way where you can’t expect others to relate.
We all want to be the first: to be someone special, even if it’s just to one other person. To be seen for our uniqueness and to be loved for it, not in spite of it. That what makes us different makes us shine.
Instead, some of us are rare. We’re different in ways that make others uncomfortable. Expectations and plans others had for us go out the window, we spend a lot of time explaining ourselves or isolating so we don’t have to, and we might even be afraid of ourselves and our own uniqueness because it could hurt or disappoint others if they knew.
Continue reading “Show yourself”
Exceptional
All of my life, I’ve been told I’m too different.
That I can’t expect others to understand.
Most kids don’t talk like I do.
Most kids don’t feel the passion I feel.
Most kids wouldn’t think to fear all I fear.
Not just
Sometimes a person
Is not just a person
But a hope
A path
A lantern
A voice
Calling as you scramble
Your way out of the rubble
Mismatched
The nice thing about socks is that they always have a mate
You know when one is lost because it was made for another
Two by two, pairs, not ever alone, folded together
But life lived out is never that simple
No more waiting (p. 2)
So while working at a company owned by the very corporation that funded and marketed the True Love Waits movement that popularized the purity ring madness of the 2000s, living in the “buckle of the Bible belt,” I decided my purity ring was a lie.
I wasn’t waiting for anything. Not because I’d changed my beliefs on abstinence or met a person I wanted to sleep with, but because I had no use for it. There was nothing to wait for.
It was in this time that I discovered a useful term.
As the nation exploded with discussions of the legality of same-sex marriage, I searched for something that fit my lack of anything to wait for. I was no more attracted to women than I was to men. I gave it serious consideration for the sake of logical elimination, but the word gay didn’t fit either. Bisexuality sounded somewhat relatable, but in practice, the exact opposite of my experience.
Then I read about asexuality. But what about those high school relationships? I had dated, so I couldn’t be asexual, right? I pondered demisexual; perhaps I was only into those boys because I had known them long enough to develop an emotional bond with them that grew into rare attraction? Perhaps I was just gray-asexual and only rarely experienced attraction. Maybe I got all mine over within a few years? There was also a romantic component. This one was much harder. It’s one thing to not experience sexual attraction, but it’s something else altogether to not experience romantic attraction. And to add to it, to not want romantic or sexual relationships.
Continue reading “No more waiting (p. 2)”
Invisible Cake Society 