Swinging in the twilight Summer sun cools to breezes Vanilla ice cream— From little plastic cups with wood spoons— Dripped on concrete Sticky memorial to innocence Street lights come on And junebugs play As Dad laughs and Mom chats with the neighbors. Remember This was us once
Archive
The rainbow baton
I’ve been marveling a little at how far we’ve come in our lifetimes. There’s so much queer content now, not just coded but stated clearly, that it’s a major party platform to ban it.
That entire religious denominations are splitting in half (half with us!) and have to go to extreme financial and legal lengths to fight against us. City councils and school boards have allies at them, vocal and not anonymous! Support is so high that the haters have to resort to coordinated campaigns and recycle their fear-mongering and dig out Anita Bryant’s old catchphrases to make Florida the leader in hate again instead of just taking it for granted that we are society’s undesirables.
Continue reading “The rainbow baton”A citadel to normalcy
How grim. How foolish. How fallow
The castle built for sameness.
Now a plain, dull, drab
Myopic of potential greatness
Strict rules of what to do and be,
Keep tongues under lock and key
Loose lips, loose hips, loose chains
And hate will fill the sticky heat
Continue reading “A citadel to normalcy”Relating
I don’t know how you feel
I haven’t had your particular expression
Of grief, of loss, of pain
I can’t say I’ve been through that
Exactly, particularly, specifically
In the ways you experienced it
But I do know what it’s like
To be what parents fear for their child
To grow up and become
I do know what it’s like
For every cell to groan with need
For answers and Why and I hate this
I do know how it feels
To have so much love to give
If only someone wanted it, wanted me
I know intimately the story
Of sitting in the soul dark silence
Knowing no one is coming to save you from this
I know being different, I know alone,
I know the constant low hum of fear
As you smile in a privileged outer life
I know Mirrorball, and
This is Me Trying,
And Tied Together With a Smile
I can’t say I know your life
But maybe in part,
And you know mine in some way
And we can see each other
As kin, and gently say
Me too. You are not the only one.
Naming
As you might assume from my content on this site, I carry a lot of labels. Some are less well-known than others, and some carry inaccurate connotations. Some I am constantly working for greater awareness of, and others I keep quieter about. These labels have been immensely helpful for me, whether they are as specific as a microlabel on the spectrum of aromantic and asexual identity or as broad as the unifying and nebulous umbrella terms that I’m not sure where all I fit within.
Naming is important to self-concept and acceptance of our identity, but there are equally important stages that we move through before and after we first say, “Hi, my name is ____ and I’m ____.” These aren’t strictly linear, but they are numbered for the sake of organization:
Continue reading “Naming”What do we do with all this grief
Today, Sarah Bessey asked her readers on her Substack about all the losses that come with deconstruction/faith evolution. It made me think of a related, often simultaneous loss when that deconstruction is part of coming out as queer:
There’s something I tell queer people when they come out and lose so much (or publicly identify as allies). Yes, you will lose belonging and comfort. Maybe your job, church, friends, family, sense of stable identity, certainty, easy acceptance into your communities, even safety. But by being vulnerable, that courage opens many doors as well. You are not alone in this. You are welcome to grieve together with others who have lost the same. You are now part of a free, inclusive, authentic family. It is so so so painful, and there is so much to mourn and lament in the rage and tears. No, it isn’t fair. Yes, it would have hurt so much less if people saw and loved the full, real you.
Continue reading “What do we do with all this grief”Politicized
We say
Your theology leads to harm
You say
That’s tough love for rebels
We say
Your politics lead to death
You say
Words can’t hurt
We say stop killing us
You say
Stop being dramatic
We grieve at headlines
We cry in news photos
We raise the alarm
And violence still comes
We say we told you so
You say now is not the time
To politicize a tragedy.
Raising affirming kids when you weren’t raised that way
I’m honored to introduce you to my friend and former coworker Bekah McNeel. Bekah is an author, journalist, and podcaster (check out our episode together here!) who works tirelessly for those on the margins to have their voices heard and to bring about real change through the power of storytelling. I asked her if she would be willing to share with us her perspective on raising kids in affirming theology and modeling allyship as a parent. Read her wisdom here and then read her book, Bringing Up Kids When Church Lets You Down: A Guide for Parents Questioning Their Faith, which covers many more topics relevant to this community.
Continue reading “Raising affirming kids when you weren’t raised that way”life preserver
do you ever dream about them
the teachers, the doctors, the counselors
the psych professor who saw a lot of promise in you
the professionals who didn’t see it
do you ever shout at them in your sleep
i was just a kid
and you were the expert on the tower
with training and power
who was supposed to notice
that i was drowning
Ace Bewareness Week
This is a silly little poem about Twitter, but I really do hope we can recapture the joy and belonging and welcome this Ace Awareness Week in the midst of all the creepy, scary, and ghoulish opinions on the internet. Hope you find all treats and no tricks this year!
Smell it approaching.
It’s coming up fast,
haunting our Pride with dread.
The bad takes change colors
hot as the spices in your cup.
The ringing cheer in the air
from the stadium chants,
“Conform, conform conform.”
The ignorant blue checks moan
with laments they have no knowledge of.
The biting wind of aphobia
swirls the rotting leaves.
It’s that time of year again!
Ace awareness week is coming.
Invisible Cake Society 