Queer theology and the Bible

Is there an affirming way to read the Bible? What contributions and revelations and corrections can queer theology offer the church? What do I say to my church or pastor or neighbors who think queer affirmation is unbiblical? And can I love Jesus, the Bible, the church, and my queer self, friends, family, or neighbors?

Queer Christian resources

A link list of resources, events, communities, blogs, newsletters, church finders, and more for queer Christian life.

Aromanticism, asexuality, and Christianity

I’m primarily focusing my work on progressive Christianity and the queer church because that’s where I’m most needed and fit best, but others have blazed a trail before I got here and I’m not alone now.

Aromanticism 101

Alright it’s time to talk about… aromanticism! I haven’t spent as much time on this as I have on asexuality, so it’s time to answer some questions and bust some myths. Similar to how asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, aromanticism is a lack of romantic attraction. I’m both aromantic and asexual, aro ace…

International A-specs!

April 6 is International Asexuality Day, highlighting asexual organizations and people all over the world. Asexuality is not unique to North America or the UK. We are everywhere in every culture and country and time zone. Here are organizations highlighting not only asexuality but also aromanticism and both spectrums.

Rise – Easter sermon 2024

And we know we’re far from perfect, but hear this: you did not earn your suffering through either a need to prove your holiness or as punishment for some sin. That’s not Love. Sometimes the only answer we get is that we can’t know. Sometimes there is no why. Sometimes the world and our lives…

ADHD Showed Me I Wasn’t a Spiritual Failure

I had the honor of writing about ADHD and spiritual practices for Sojourners Magazine! If you had told me 11 years ago at my first contemplative retreat that I had ADHD, I would have been skeptical. I was an organized, overachieving Enneagram 3, a bookworm, and a grown professional woman — not a small bouncy…

Can still?

This is not purity culture. You don’t have to repent or reform your life choices or pledge your virginity or stay single or be accountable to a leader who will determine if you are living in asexual or aromantic righteousness. THAT’S what we mean when we say you can date as an aro person or…

A complicated year

I started this year with a specific Word of the Year, a tradition in Christian women’s circles dating back to the heyday of the “blogsphere.” I usually don’t remember mine by April, but this year was different. This year the word that came to me, or that I picked (depending on what you believe about…

The persuasive power of queer joy

Yesterday, my Twitter friend Billie Hoard wrote out this thread and I was blown away by how true it resonated with me and so many. I asked her if I could include it as a guest post here so you could save it, return to it, and share it with those who need to hear…

Why I don’t do queer apologetics

Here’s the thing about arguing for queer rights and dignity. I can give them the ACLU map of ~500 anti-LGBTQ bills in the US. They will say those bills are good, actually. I can give them book lists, but they’ll say those are made up for profit. I can give them story after story, but…

A little talk

You want to go deep But sneer talking about the weather You want the real stuff But don’t hear the question “Am I safe here?” You’re missing it

Junebugs

Swinging in the twilight Summer sun cools to breezes Vanilla ice cream

The rainbow baton

We’re not a scandal or a shameful secret no one talks about. We have power, united together, like never before.

A citadel to normalcy

How grim. How foolish. How fallow The castle built for sameness. Now a plain, dull, drab Myopic of potential greatness Strict rules of what to do and be, Keep tongues under lock and key Loose lips, loose hips, loose chains And hate will fill the sticky heat Shield the children’s eyes From all but the…

Relating

I don’t know how you feel I haven’t had your particular expression Of grief, of loss, of pain I can’t say I’ve been through that Exactly, particularly, specifically In the ways you experienced it But I do know what it’s like To be what parents fear for their child To grow up and become I…

Naming

Naming is important to self-concept and acceptance of our identity, but there are equally important stages that we move through before and after we first say, “Hi, my name is ____ and I’m ____.”

What do we do with all this grief

Today, Sarah Bessey asked her readers on her Substack about all the losses that come with deconstruction/faith evolution. It made me think of a related, often simultaneous loss when that deconstruction is part of coming out as queer: There’s something I tell queer people when they come out and lose so much (or publicly identify…

Politicized

We say Your theology leads to harm You say That’s tough love for rebels We say Your politics lead to death You say Words can’t hurt We say stop killing us You say Stop being dramatic We grieve at headlines We cry in news photos We raise the alarm And violence still comes We say…

Raising affirming kids when you weren’t raised that way

I’m honored to introduce you to my friend and former coworker Bekah McNeel. Bekah is an author, journalist, and podcaster (check out our episode together here!) who works tirelessly for those on the margins to have their voices heard and to bring about real change through the power of storytelling. I asked her if she…

life preserver

do you ever dream about them the teachers, the doctors, the counselors the psych professor who saw a lot of promise in you the professionals who didn’t see it do you ever shout at them in your sleep i was just a kid and you were the expert on the tower with training and power…

Ace Bewareness Week

This is a silly little poem about Twitter, but I really do hope we can recapture the joy and belonging and welcome this Ace Awareness Week in the midst of all the creepy, scary, and ghoulish opinions on the internet. Hope you find all treats and no tricks this year! Smell it approaching. It’s coming…

Ace and allo partnerships

I was asked about ace and allo marriages, and I didn’t have any resources about marriage/partnership and asexuality, especially when one of those partners is allo. Aces and their allo partners on Twitter were eager to help and share what they have learned. We all hope these stories and links can strengthen ace/allo marriages and…

It is for freedom we have been set free

Content warning for child abuse story. Start at 3:24 if this is a trigger for you First, it is a great feeling to be able to understand and process every word from a speaker without needing the captions. That almost never happens. I feel like I actually processed every word! Aside from speaking skills, this…

The Unnamed.

I pray you find a doctor with undying curiosity I pray you find empathy in a nurse’s needle I pray you find a treatment that works

Voice of the box

She describes herself as “an ill-fitting Christian. A square peg trying to fit into a round hole, each of the angles representing the diverse religious traditions that shaped my understanding of the Divine.”

So far, so good

What is it costing us when we have to hide entire parts of who we are in our churches, homes, families, friendships, workplaces, and communities because the standard of goodness is a different shape than the shape we occupy?

Does God care about our sex lives?

Yes, as our friend, comforter, creator, divine parent, provider, protector, lover, healer, Lord, and shepherd… God cares about our sexuality and bodies. Buckle up. God made us good and different, giving some sex-favorability, some sex-indifference, some sex-aversion, and some sex-repulsion. To some, They give romantic relationships, to others singleness. To some, queer orientations, to others…

For those whose bodies are policy issues

Today, there is much discussion on embodiment, what it means to show up in a space as your full self, and to be present in your body wherever you are. The topic du jour, in particular, is church attendance. Can we experience the “real” church online?

Homesick

Homesickness is a funny kind of illness. It sort of hurts all over. In your throat when someone asks the wrong question at the wrong time. In your lungs when a reminder of what you’ve lost takes your breath away. In your core when there’s the gut punch of knowing what you long for may…

The Remodel

a fresh start, To begin, That’s what we need. To tear it all down and click Refresh.

A prayer for a misused name/pronoun

By Rev Naomi Miller, Church of the Apostles, Guelph. Thank you, Rev. Miller, for letting me share this here! O God, You know me by my name. You know <name> by <pronoun> name. Let the words I use when I speak to <name> and about <pronoun> show my love for <pronoun>.

Side A. Celibate. Asexual. Queer.

Asexuality is not the same as celibacy. Lots of asexual people do have sex. Asexuality is about attraction, not behavior. I am also celibate. I consider this a calling in the sense that God made me sex-averse intentionally and for a reason. Not all asexual people are sex-averse.

Queer podcasts

A few podcasts around queerness, queer faith, and aromanticism and asexuality. For my own podcast appearances, see Podcasts. Queer – general Queery Making Gay History Queer Christian Q Theology Queerology Lavender Mafia (*nsfw) A Tiny Revolution Refuge Radio Our Bible has a large list of affirming podcasts here Search for these on your favorite podcast-listening…

Welcome home

Welcome, welcome to the wandering I was once welcomed And here you are too

I heal myself

She needs him Like she needs air He needs her Like water But I breathe I drink, I gasp I drown All on my own

The Archer

I take aim Correct form Exhale Release

The word hangs In the air A whisper A whisper

Women of Valor – Mary Magdalene

I had the great privilege of joining my friend Kelly Wolfe on her blog, Let It Matter, this week discussing Mary Magdalene. We have a video of our conversation on her blog as well as a transcript for you to read. We discuss the way she’s been treated by church history, biblical interpretation, how fandom…

Dangerous

I will not be quiet Call me threat, call me fire Let’s burn it down Call me hurricane

Out here

I don’t know if you can see it But I am out here I wear my ring Black on my finger Purple eyeshadow Striped T-shirt Little flag on a necklace A dragon keychain A cake sticker I don’t know if you notice But I am out here Teaching and tweeting With metaphors to explain Charts…

Faith that evolves

I mostly write about asexuality and being a queer Christian, but those aren’t the hardest challenges I’ve encountered in my faith. Being both queer and Christian has been difficult, but it has also shown me a community of love, belonging, joy, and all the fruits of the Spirit.  My hardest challenge to my faith was recovering from…

A-positive

I am not the type to get emotional but it hurts when you say all humans were created for sex that romance is the purpose for us being thrust upon this forsaken Earth I am not the type to need constant reassurance I can get by on my own But it hurts when you tell…

Show yourself

I’m rare. And not in a good, let’s-celebrate-diversity way. In a way that ends up being called things, like, well… ice queen.

Exceptional

All of my life, I’ve been told I’m too different. That I can’t expect others to understand. Most kids don’t talk like I do. Most kids don’t feel the passion I feel. Most kids wouldn’t think to fear all I fear. Most girls grow up to find a boy. Most girls want to marry and…

Not just

Sometimes a person Is not just a person But a hope A path A lantern A voice

Mismatched

The nice thing about socks is that they always have a mate You know when one is lost because it was made for another Two by two, pairs, not ever alone, folded together But life lived out is never that simple

No more waiting (p. 2)

I took off the purity ring because there was nothing to wait for. But then I learned of another ring. A subtle way for asexual people to recognize each other in public. One not unlike the youth group legend of the early church’s icthus fish, now that I think about it.

No more waiting (p. 1)

I decided my purity ring was a lie. I wasn’t waiting for anything. There was nothing to wait for.

In particular

Most days I am wary

I have seen the machine

I know the powers that pull

A gold pulpit’s fragile strings

We all feel invisible sometimes

This is a new place. One I have created for a new time. I hope it is a place of healing for you. When you feel unseen, you can come here. When you feel alone, you can find community. And maybe say some “me too”s. If it’s not for you, that’s okay. You don’t need…

5319

Tomorrow we will all get up

And go about our days like normal

Tomorrow the sun will shine

And spring will once again attempt

To show us hope and life.

I believe. Lord, help my unbelief.

adhd affirming theology allyship anxiety aromantic awareness week aromanticism asexuality Christianity coming out conversation cupcakes dangerous women deconstruction depression disability Disney Easter evolving faith faith feminism feminist poetry friendship Frozen grief LGBTQ LGBTQIA+ marginalized faith experiences Mental health mental illness Methodist national coming out day neurodivergence Poetry Pride purity movement queer queer poetry queer theology religion resources Side A theology the society welcome women in the Bible